(thank you to ‘Neil’ for this phrase, I love it haha…)
Life…yep, its not all ‘roses and sunshine’ – Ive had a magical ‘dream run’ since June 2011 when this all started for me, my energy was 100%, I had no physical setbacks/hurdles, life was seemingly effortless – which was such a welcome break from the previous few years in my life, with what was happening with it…but in June this year, life kind of came down to earth with a big thud and the ‘old me’ threatened to return – and I discovered that I didnt like that ‘old me’, ‘she’ was so unfamiliar to me. The Event is getting closer, my fitness training is getting more intense (which I LOVE..the harder my gym trainer works me, the more I want..haha!), the organising of the Event has been full of hiccups and setbacks, along with certain ‘life stuff’ going on behind the scenes – and I had a ‘moment’ in early June where I just wanted to give it all up. I had been warned that this may happen, that I may reach a point where Im going to really struggle to strive towards these huge goals, especially mentally – this is completely normal apparently, with such a huge challenge Im facing…I didnt think it would hit me that hard though!
But, it is at this moment, when you realise just how important something is to you.
After a lot of soulsearching, and a complete break from ‘everything connected to the Event’, while dealing with a chest lurgy that completely flattened me, I now am back to the passionate mindset of, I cannot WAIT to bring my Fitness Goals to reality in such a special way. This is without a doubt the most intense, emotionally charged, challenge(s) I have ever set myself – but you know what….its making me feel the most ALIVE that I have ever felt in my life. Oh yeah, when I was tearing around the track @ 240km/hr in Steve Johnsons #17 Ford Beast last year…I ‘woke up’, I came alive, BIG-time haha….but this is different. I am SO passionate about bringing these three Fitness Goals to life…and in ‘giving back’ to the charity who have given me so much over the years.
To experience not only ‘Climbing my Mountain’…but at 42yrs of age, to experience two beautiful men walking and supporting me down the beach, and also having a slowdance, both for the very first time in my life – its going to be pure magic…so special.
I am very passionate by nature, and I strive to seek out experiences in my life, which make me feel challenged, confronted, and ALIVE – my passion for life itself is what drives me. When I am passionate about something, I give it 110% – and I have 4 x 110%’s going on at the moment haha…striving for my Fitness Goals (which are proving to be more difficult both mentally, and physically, than I ever imagined them to be – especially the ‘simple act’ of walking down the beach – I long for that feeling of just a natural/casual walk down the beach, and Im dealing with the acceptance of never being able to feel ‘natural/effortless’ while doing it, which is hard to accept right now), arranging the Event, fundraising for the charity (striving to raise what I possibly can with the generosity of others, in the leadup to the Event)….and being SO excited about my future, after the Event.
I believe my recent ‘meltdown’ was one that was meant to happen…I was ‘shot down’ for a while there…but this ‘rose’ is blooming again in full colour, ready to GO get em, with all that I have got! Bring it on!
Chasing my Dreams…with guns AND roses! 🙂