Wow…what a year this has been!!
Racing in a V8 Supercar, being a model for a day, experiencing the magic of a Hug Patrol, setting myself fitness challenges that I never thought Id be able to manage, surfing, kayaking, confronting a fear Ive had for 40 years (riding on a train), my first Motivational Talk, break a world record (as part of a crowd), being on TV, track down a racer with a disability..just SOME of what the last year has been, for me….WOWZERS!!
My most memorable ‘tick’ (of course), was the moment when I raced around the track, at Qld Raceway with Steve Johnson in his #17 Ford V8 Supercar – THAT was the absolutely life changing moment, when we arrived back at the Pit area, where I ‘woke up’, the moment I became a different person, the moment I was truely fulfilled. The feeling deep down inside of me when we arrived back at the Pits was just magic, something I had never felt before – I had brought to life a childhood dream that meant the absolute world to me, a dream that was inside my spirit and my heart, but it was a dream which I had basically ‘put to bed’ as never happening for me…but here I was, now living it. Living MY dream. When I got out of that V8 Supercar, I felt I could do ANYTHING! Childhood dreams really do change your life!
The other ‘most memorable’ tick and moment in this last year (among the MANY memorable moments), was when I was down in Melbourne, experiencing ‘Be an extra on a tv show/movie’ – the moment that I went through the door of Studio ‘A’, into the Neighbours set…an unforgettable feeling of complete and utter fulfilment came over me. I was exactly where I knew I was meant to be, at that moment. Not just where I wanted to be, but where I was MEANT to be. I hadnt experienced that, to that extreme, since sitting in the V8 Supercar, at the moment that Steve Johnson fired the beast up. Moments, and feelings like this, are when you know you are REALLY alive….and its what life is all about!
This journey hasn’t just been about meaninglessly ‘ticking things off a list’ for me (just for the sake of ‘ticking off the bucket list)..its about discovering who I really am, what I really want to do in my life, creating ‘me’ as a person…and discovering and learning about life itself. Every single one of my ‘ticks’ that I have experienced, has created a special moment, a special memory, in my life…and when I think back, every ‘tick’ has taught me a lesson, in some way or another. This I believe, is because the ‘ticks’ on my list, arent just ‘yeah, I might give that a try one day’ experiences…they are experiences that Ive really wanted to bring to life…..and Ive strived to make it happen, by taking that first step, by putting them onto my bucket list. Ive created them, into my life. They are ‘meant’ to be there (if that makes sense?). Looking back, I can now say that every experience Ive had in this last year, whether its a ‘tick off my list’ or not….Ive looked at it with new appreciation….and I now look at everyday life, with fresh, new ‘eyes’. Yes I still have days where I get ‘tired’ and ‘over it all’ (as we all do when we get drummed down with life and its stressors – even ‘good stressors’ can be exhausting at times!)…but when those moments occur, I remember what has happened to me in the last year…what Ive created…and I know that life wont always be ‘meh’…life IS, and can be ‘Yeeeeeewwww!!’..(haha)..
One of the most surprising aspects of this entire year has been the ‘inspiration’ angle of it…at first, I was *as I still am!* just simply enjoying living my new life of adventure, this new life of possibilities that was opening up in front of me..totally enjoying this (foreign) feeling of no longer being ‘lost’, as a person, as I had felt for so many years prior to this unfolding for me. But, over time, I noticed something…I noticed that there were people saying to me that they were gaining something from my life, that they thought of me as ‘inspiring’, that they had changed something in their own life, because of observing/hearing how Ive chosen to now live mine. This was surprising to me at first because…*shrug*…’Im just ‘me’, living my life’…Im just this person living her life, alongside everyone else. Then I started to realise the power of how I had now chosen to live my life, the power of really embracing life itself – and this aspect of it has turned into one of the most rewarding parts of this entire year – the fact that what Im doing with my life, has affected others in such a positive way…its reminding others, to embrace their own lives too, just as I am. The feeling when Im sharing my story with someone, and I can see the spark light up in their eyes, when they resonate with what I have said, and they then tell me that theyre going to change something in their own life because of it? The most AMAZING feeling on earth! Yes, Im still living this journey ‘for me, and my happiness’, but it really is a special feeling that others seem to be benefitting from it too. And its a feeling that I value, very much..
This journey has tested me, and is continuing to test me, on so many different angles…confronting fears, testing limits (and pushing through them), teaching me SO much about myself, and my world around me….but most of all, it has taught me that I CAN do whatever it is that I want to do in this life. If not in the conventional way, I can do it ‘MY way’. No more saying ‘Yeah, I’ll do it one day’ (and that day never coming because Id left it as a passing thought), no more thinking ‘I wish I could do that/have that in my life’…but instead, having the knowledge that I WILL and CAN do whatever it is that I want to do – its MY life, and its up to me to honour it. My list of Dreams I want to chase and experience is evergrowing (my ‘goal-posts’ of what I thought I could do, and would want to do with my life, are getting further and further apart all the time – Im finding that Im challenging myself with more and more ‘daring’ things, to do in my life….’scary’/being nervous, to me, is exciting now!)…and who knows, I may never get to experience every single thing on that List…but what I DO know is that, every day of this life, since this new journey began a year ago….I have LIVED. I have EXPERIENCED. I have EMBRACED life, with all that I have got inside of me. Yes its been exhausting at times (I am someone who has a very passionate spirit, so this new life which I always knew I wanted, I am giving it 110% of that passion – which can get exhausting at times!) as I am adjusting to this new life of mine that I have chosen to create (and constantly being surprised at how its grown into what it is) – but, what I do know is that I would not trade one second of this life, and this last year, for anything in this world. Not a second.
I am finally who I know I am meant to be in this world…I have found my purpose…I am the woman who always yearned for a ‘life of adventure’, I always had this inside of me….but didnt know how to reach inside and grab it. And this, I believe, is one reason why I felt so ‘lost’ for so many years…as I knew this was inside of me….but I just didnt know how to get it. And now I do…
Its never too late to create YOU into who you want to be. Im in my 40s, and living with my disability/health conditions where, I just dont know what they have in store for me, around that corner (none of us really do know whats ‘around the corner’, whether for the good, or the not so good…so why wait to find out, why not create your life as you want it, now?). I honestly thought, when I was younger, that when I got to ‘my age’ I am now, that I would be just living a simple, quiet little life, maybe doing some volunteer work, and just being content with that (not that theres anything wrong with doing that, living the ‘quiet life’…but the ‘adventurous me’ deep down inside, would always know there was ‘more’ to my life). This was because, when I was younger I was frightened about what life would have in store for me, when I got to ‘my age’, with my disability, and didnt dare to ‘dream bigger’. But…little did I know what life would have in store for me!
I cannot WAIT to see what the next year (and my future…I have never been so excited about my future!) has in store for me…its been one hell of a ride so far…I wonder whats NEXT?? 😀
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, inspired me, been there for me, opened up doors and opportunities for me, and ‘had my back’ in the last year…you have helped me become the woman I am today…the woman I FINALLY know I am meant to be, in this Life.
….All because I have chosen to Chase My Dreams!
…Are you Chasing yours?…